We all have a secrets. No - don’t try and tell me that you have nothing in your past that you have striven to keep from freinds. Maybe you have done something in your past that causes you acute embarassment whenever it comes to mind, or that you will never be allowed to forget your secret if it became common knowledge. I have a secret. How I caused Pearce and Waddle to fail in the penalty shoot out against Germany in the 1990 finals.

It’s a long story. Cast your mind back to the group qualifying rounds when England were struggling to get through to the knock out stages proper, and making a pigs ear in the process. After stuggling against the Republic of Ireland, I expressed my view that there was no way that England would ever win a tournament with Bobby Robson at the helm. There were of course, those who thought I was crackers, and were willing to put on any amount of money that I was wrong. I had no cash.

I’m not so sure how it all came about, but a deal was then struck that if England DID happen to win I was going to shave my head for charity where I work. If I remember rightly, the cards were stacked against me from the start, for this was to be a haircut against nothing. I had nothing to gain if England won. But then, I was so sure that England were no-hopers I took the bet as it was.

So there we were. Belgium up first and I was pretty sure that as the game went into extra time and penalties drew closer that Belgium would do the business - though I also knew that an England win would not be of any real significance once they came up against good opponents. One minute from the end of extra time, up pops David Platt to score from a volley to send England into the quarter final and me... looking at our side of the draw to see who our opponents would be.

And then the stakes were raised a little higher. I opened my mouth a little wider, and promised to do a streak as well, if England won the trophy. This was to take place at work, and would involve me running from one end of the warehouse to the other, through the offices, into the managers office and out again. Remember also, that the security cameras would record every moment for prosperity. Just to make sure there was no backing down, sponsorship forms were handed out, and there was quite a sizeable sum ready for the day after the final.

The quarter final was against Cameroon. There was a small chance that this unknown quantity might cause an upset once they took the lead and led 2-1 late on. Damnit for Gary Lineker for getting the winner and sending England through to the semis. Here was the biggest game for our country in twenty-four years, and I was too bothered about baring my butt than doing my striptease and joining in with the rest of the country.

And of course, Germany in the semi finals. There I was, trying to go back on my word so that I could get behind England, rather than hope they lose. By now I was feeling left out of all the hysteria as the rest of the country experienced World Cup fever. Believe me, it was no party from where I was. My friends were having none of it though, and so I had no option than to invoke what was to be the curse on England ever beating Germany on penalties. When Germany scored that opening goal I let out a very quiet ‘YES!’, and when Lineker scored that equaliser I cursed him for eternal damnation. The fact that he presents Football Focus is just part of the down payment.

But that is neither here nor there - penalties were looming again and I could just see a last minute goal coming again. When Pearce took his penalty kick I let out a plea that England never beat Germany in a penalty shoot-out, and I may or may not have said ever again in a moment of weakness.

So, lads, I hope you can forgive me for the disappointment of 1990. Since that day we lost out of course in 1994 with Graham Taylor, went close with that penalty shoot-out in England to the Germans again, and qualified for France, in Italy of all places. I put that down to Hoddle’s faith healer.